Leading Egyptian Daily ‘Al-Ahram’ Reports: Coins from Era of Biblical Joseph Found in Egypt
“According to a report in the Egyptian daily Al-Ahram, by Wajih Al-Saqqar, archeologists have discovered ancient Egyptian coins bearing the name and image of the Biblical Joseph.”
Click here for excerpts of the story from The Middle East Media Reserach Institute. Thanks Adam!
Author: Val Frania Page 17 of 30
This is probably going to be the most unusual post I’ve published so far for several reasons. One, it will expose my human side, a side no one other than my husband knows about. To show one’s vulnerability and human frailties goes against the most basic tendency of self protection and preservation. Let’s face it, pride is a hard beast to slay. Secondly, to show one’s inner self, the secret thoughts and imaginings of oneself is risky. It could cause those of you who care for me to change your opinion of me. That is a real risk, and one that frankly, I was never willing to take – until now. Thirdly, it will give those who already hold disdain for me more arrows to place in their quiver that will eventually be shot my way.
I’ve given you the reasons why I shouldn’t write this post. Now let me tell you why I should. Too often in our spiritual journey we fall into a fake type of existance that becomes rote for us. We smile, we chat, we say “hello,” and seldom scratch below the surface of a superficial existence. We go to church, we share “acceptable” prayer requests, we greet others, ask them how they are, and what do we always hear? “I’m fine.” Right? I long to have the freedom of reaching beyond the usual platitudes. I fantasize about talking the afternoon away with another kind hearted brother or sister in Christ and tell them of my fears, sadness and disappointments. Actually, I could name you a dozen people right now that I could call that would be right there for me. I’ve actually gone down the list a dozen times in my mind.
So why didn’t I call any of them for encouragement? I’ve learned to keep the negativity hidden. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been cautioned to present a good face, to let the glory of God shine through regardless of circumstances. I agree with that to a point. Our God is great and we ought to show the world that His presence in our lives makes us different from others, complete and able to withstand anything Satan throws at us. Another reason, though it may seem invalid to others, is still a reality to those who have lived the life that I have. I’m a “fixer.” I’m the one who figures things out, supplies the needs, and searches for the answer that will make things right again. I’m the one that others come to for help or support. How does one show weakness when you’re the one expected to hold everyone else up? If you’re like me, your validation comes from how useful and helpful you are to others. If I become the one who needs help, how can I be of use to others? Whether that thinking is faulty or not, it’s still a reality to people who consider themselves “the strong ones.” There is no room for weakness – none at all.
But what about those times that we need someone to tell us it’s going to be OK? How does our support system know that we need someone to share our burdens with if we never speak of them? God says to “bear one another’s burdens,” but we must show our vulnerability in order to share our burdens. It’s our humaness that causes us to connect with others. I am tired of and determined to figure out how to leave off the facade. I know, I know, no one is perfect, but we surely do try to present ourselves that way – we try to hide our imperfections and doubts from others as some sort of twisted self preservation. And to add to that, for some reason we have this crazy notion that if we are to represent Christ, we must present ourselves as having it all together all of the time.
To some extent I have broken my own rules in this regard a few times this past year. I had to make a conscious effort to seek counsel. We were up to our eyeballs with some of our kids’ problems that we had no idea what to do about it. It was very difficult because it meant I had to choose wisely my confidant because they had to be completely trustworthy and knowledgeable at the same time. [Remember, we have to keep our mouth shut, no good Christian complained about another Christian in any way or you are not a good Christian any more, and who would risk that? Certainly not a good Christian!] Fortunately I DID choose wisely and God used these folks in a mighty way to help us to make wise decisions and survive it all. But it’s a little easier seeking counsel over what to do with someone else’s troubles. To seek it over my own was near impossible!
News flash! Everyone struggles. Everyone fails. Everyone doubts and gets discouraged. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t meant it isn’t true. This story needs to be told. Perhaps if others see my past struggles, they might think theirs are not unique. Perhaps I might encourage someone along the way. I surely hope so. It is my purpose in life – to encourage others, to make another person’s journey better. Perhaps when I tell you how God pulled me out of my tail spin you’ll see how one kind word or deed can make a difference.
It started a few months ago – Satan’s whisperings, his suggestions, the accusations. (No, I wasn’t hearing voices.) Some of you will remember that for months I was asking God for several miracles in my life. Most of them had to do with my kids. My friends faithfully prayed without details. What a blessing that was. It kept me going. From trial to trial, God showed Himself faithful, renewing and strengthening my faith.
But then I suffered a couple of personal blows. Someone that I had confidence in disappointed me. My cornerstone seemed to have moved. I lost my direction. Then came the subtle whisperings to my heart. Satan the great accuser took advantage of my worn out state. We’d had so many struggles in such a short time that he obviously felt it was time to start attacking me inward. He saved his best for last. He began his final attack by bringing a disappointment that really threw me off my game. I felt as though I was adrift without anything to hold on to. Now you can get spiritual on me and say, “Well, she just needed to focus on Christ.” Yes, that’s true, but it’s the blessings He gives us that help us make it through our days, especially when those days are dark and dreary. What do we do when those blessings seem to fall away?
I had experienced so much loss and disappointment that I was empty. I don’t mean spiritually empty, for I was in the Word and experiencing a great relationship with my Lord. I was finding out so much about Him and enjoying our time together. But I was emotionally drained from multiple trials and the last straw came – and out of the blue nothing made sense. That is the point at which Satan began whispering. Any time that happens we ought to be aware that we are in for a battle. Looking back, I believe God allowed that time of testing to give me new insight, but at the time it threatened my very being.
Satan was whispering in my ear hourly, sometimes by the minute, “Don’t you think everyone would be happier and much better off without you?” I argued. I pushed. I felt like I was all alone, that God was turning a deaf ear. Even though I knew it was just for a season and that God truly did still love me and would eventually bring me out of it, I knew I had to battle those whisperings day in and day out, hour by hour and it went on for weeks and weeks! I purposely reminded myself that Jesus was tempted and it didn’t mean that He was sinning. It only meant that Satan was testing Him, wanting to find a point where he could claim victory. Even though I was determined not to let him win, I still had to endure the endless tauntings – tauntings that I actually had come to believe were true.
Of course I knew I had God’s power behind me to overcome it, but for some reason He would not take it away. I carried around a dark feeling that pervaded my every waking moment. No one knew. I shared it with no one. For many weeks I battled it. I was tired of fighting with kids to get them to do right. I was tired of hearing about gossip and lies that were being told about me or members of my family. I was tired of being beat over the head. I was tired of losing hope and being disappointed by those who were supposed to love me. I was tired of being afraid. I was tired of being told that many of my kids cared not one wit about me. It seemed nothing would ever be right. I was tired of losing my kids to the world. I was just plain tired.
I decided I was going to get an honest opinion from someone. When Jillian came home from college I decided I was just going to come out and ask her, “Isn’t it true that life would be easier for everyone if I just wasn’t around?” I knew it was a bold question but I just had to know. Several times the first week I started to ask it, but couldn’t bring myself to verbalize it. I’d start out with, “Do you think…” then I’d say, “Never mind.”
She’d ask me, “What?” but I’d always say, “Nothing.” At the same time, I knew that if I didn’t deal with Satan’s whisperings, they’d continue. I felt very fortunate that I had the Word of God to back me up and keep me on track, but at the same time it was very discouraging and painful to hear Satan’s constant accusations. I actually believed what he was saying was true, but the Spirit living within me flatly refused to let me give in to it.
When I finally blurted it out, “Jillian, do you think that everything would be much easier for everyone if I wasn’t around?” She looked at me and without batting an eye said, “There are times when I’m at school that I’m so lonely I can barely stand it. I miss you and Dad so much.” I think it was the lack of hesitation that caused me to believe her without question. That was the beginning of my making my way back. From that point on it was like God decided to lift my cloud and let me see light again. Right after that, an adoptive parent I was encouraging, SueAnn, emailed me thanking me for giving her back her light – that I’d helped lift her dark cloud that had been over her for so long. Right after that my grandson told me dozens of times that he loved me and missed me when we were apart. Then Jillian’s young man came for a visit. During the five days he was at our house visiting we went to look at engagement rings and wedding dresses and talked about their future together. I watched him give her my promise ring. Being welcomed into the middle of their relationship brought more hope back into my life. I believe that it was after those five days God released me. It was a “night and day” experience.
Looking back, I now realize God gave me that time as a gift. I have experienced something that many people experience but seldom speak of. I know I was allowed to go through the dark time of doubt to broaden my compassion for others who may be suffering in the same way. Toward the end of those weeks of personal darkness, someone I knew took their own life. When someone told me they couldn’t believe a person could be that selfish, inwardly I understood very well what he was thinking because I had been contemplating my own value to others. I can’t really tell you why God saw fit to hold on to me during it all, to bring me through it when that other person wasn’t able to, but I am very glad I’m now on the other side. He was deafeningly silent but I was aware of his presence all the way through. He kept me day by day, letting me suffer, but all the while also reminding me that He would one day restore my peace. I truly had an advantage. I knew God was there watching.
In retrospect, I am thankful I have experienced the darkness that blots out all light. I was led out of that darkness by positive interraction with others when God felt it was enough – enough to open my eyes to others and their sufferings. I needed to truly understand. And most assuredly, I must use that experience to lead others out.
“The men who live the life of separation and devotion towards God, are they who act with most promptness and success when the time for action comes. Lot being in Sodom, could neither elevate its morals nor save it from attack. Abraham being among the hills is alone able to cope successfully with the might of the tyrant king. Oh, do not listen to those who say you must live on the level, and in the midst of worldly men, in order to elevate and save them.” ~F. B. Meyer
BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT PLAN FOR CHILD with FASD
Overview of Behavioral Issues Associated with Fetal Alcohol [Spectrum Disorder]
Specific Behavior Plan for child
I. Create rules that target specific behaviors.
II. Provide constant positive feedback when rules are not being broken.
III. Provide immediate, unemotional time-outs when a rule is broken.
IV. Adjust the environment to make it easy to follow rules.
V. Assess effectiveness of plan on a regular basis and make adjustments.
Overview of Behavioral Issues Associated with Fetal Alcohol Effects In working with and managing his behavior, it will be helpful to understand a few things about fetal alcohol affected brains:
• For most of us, the part of the brain that has impulses and the part that knows the rules are in constant easy communication. So we have an impulse to do something, we check it against what we know to be acceptable rules of behavior, and we make a conscious choice whether or not to break a rule. But in fetal alcohol affected brains, the connection between those two areas is faulty or missing. So the child has an impulse to do something, and by the time the part of the brain that knows the rules is even aware of the impulse, the action has already taken place, and most likely somebody is already yelling at the child about it. So you can have a kid who knows the rules, wants to follow the rules, is upset about breaking the rules, yet still breaks them. At the moment of action, he’s working purely on impulse.
• And since impulsive behavior is almost by definition without reason, asking a fetal alcohol affected child why he did something and not taking “I don’t know” for an answer is pretty much insisting that he lie. They don’t know why they do it. They may not even know what they did. So you’ll either get gobs of denial and defensiveness, or you’ll get a spontaneous excuse that defies credulity. Imagination and creativity are some of the positive attributes of people with FAE [FASD], but when they’re used in service of getting out of trouble, they usually result in a tall tale that makes matters worse.
• Social and emotional development lags way, way, way behind in people with FAE. Teens and young adults with FAE often have an emotional developmental age of about 6. So with an elementary-school-aged child, you have to figure they may be working at a toddler stage at best. You have to adjust everything to that level — expectations, supervision, privileges, rules, discipline. People with FAE tend to be verbal well beyond their level of understanding, and it may be tempting to assume that that clever and talkative child is able to understand social rules at a much more sophisticated level. It’s a mistake.
• Stress makes things worse. A confusing thing with FAE [FASD] kids is that sometimes they seem to be able to do things and sometimes they don’t, and it’s natural to assume that that indicates willfulness. But in fact their ability to control their behavior declines in proportion to the amount of stress they are experiencing. This can be obvious stress — a noisy place, difficult schoolwork, disruptions of routine — or less obvious, particularly in kids with sensory integration problems who react to things in the environment the rest of us wouldn’t even notice. Sometimes the loss of control happens well after a stressful event — if a child uses up a lot of resources getting through something hard early in the day, he may run out of control late in the day. Because of these relatively unchangeable facts of an FAE [FASD] child’s life, strategies that rely on self-control and presume willfulness; that require an advanced level of maturity and responsibility; or that increase the level of stress will be ineffective at best and may in fact escalate bad behavior.
These may include:
• Negative consequences.
• Big positive consequences.
• Escalating consequences.
• Nagging to stop behavior.
• Pressure not to break rules.
• Abstract rules like “Be respectful.”
• A choice offered between compliance and negative consequence.
• Behavior modification On the other hand, strategies that do not presume control; that don’t put undue weight on behavioral slip-ups; that are suited to the child’s level of emotional maturity; and that decrease the level of stress will be more effective, and at the least will not escalate bad behavior.
These may include:
• Positive consequences, on a modest scale, delivered immediately.
• Distraction from misbehavior.
• Brief time-outs, delivered consistently and matter-of-factly.
• Changing of environment to make success more likely.
• Behavior analysis to assist in changing of environment.
• Constant positive feedback and encouragement.
• Specific rules like “No hitting.”
• Choices in which both options are acceptable to adult.
• Behavior management
To read more of this article click here. Thanks, Jill for the info.
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
A sign on my friend’s wall in her house…
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, latte in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming, “Woo hoo! What a ride!”
Hudson had a toy gun and was pretending to shoot me. I said in mock horror, “Hudson! You can’t shoot Grammie!” Then Isaac said, “Hudson, don’t shoot Grammie because I love her and she’s mine!” I think that perhaps he just might be right!
“A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.”
~ Thomas Jefferson
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Today he pulled the same thing at the CMH appointment. I knew there would be toys to play with and told him ahead of time that if there were little cars or legos he’d have to play with something else, as he’d been grounded from those for behavior, and that if you are grounded from something at home, you are grounded from it everywhere you go. They had both, but there was a whole cabinet full of other things to play with. He zero’d right in on the little cars, grabbed the bag they were in and when I said, “No,” and took them, he got ahold of one. I had to forcibly take it. I told him if he didn’t stop arguing and fighting he had to just sit on the couch in time out, and he began punching and kicking me. In some ways, as bad as it sounds, I’m kind of glad it happened right in front of the clinician doing the intake.
At dinner time, he was NOT going to eat his dinner (chicken breast stuffed with broccoli and cheese) because he thinks broccoli with cheese is “nasty”. He loves broccoli. We finally said if he didn’t eat it, it would be wrapped and reheated for every snack and meal until it was gone, and that he’d not be allowed to play outside before and after service tonight at church with the other kids. He must have been using his selective hearing for that part, right along with Manny, who had decided since Matt didn’t like dinner, neither did he, so his got wrapped up too. After dinner, I was headed upstairs to change for church and saw Matt putting his play shirt on under his church shirt and asked what he was doing. He told me it was so he could play after church, and I reminded him he was not going out after, only Allen and Ike would, as they had eaten their dinner. When I came back downstairs, both boys were in the kitchen with their dad finishing their dinner. So at least that worked out. They were fairly good the rest of the night.
Tonight during prayer time, my husband thanked the church for the men who have been helping me with Matt on Sundays when he can’t be there, and asked for prayer for Matt and for our family. Our pastor added that he would like whatever men are sitting anywhere near us on Sunday to do the same, just get up and take him out when he becomes so difficult and reminded everyone that Matt needs a lot of prayer, and a lot of love, not judgment, that he’d been badly abused and it would take time. He also said he’s already seeing some progress with him. I so appreciate this church, it’s the first church we’ve belonged to since moving here that I feel my kids are safe from criticism and where I had no one minute of hesitation about calling the pastor and his wife after the Sam’s incident to ask for prayer, knowing I wasn’t going to be judged as a bad parent. Unfortunately, we have had that happen in other churches, when Allen was younger.
Linda
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Unfortunately, that repentant subdued attitude did not last into Tuesday. Matt was angry that he was still grounded from his legos, sports cards, and little cars. By the time Marc left for work at around noon, he was ready to gear up into a rage, which he’d held off until then. I ended up putting him into time out on the couch and sending all the other boys out to play, which made him madder, but I’m tired of them hearing all of this and mimicking the attitudes and sometimes the language. He escalated to the point that he was attempting to bruise himself so he could say I did it, at which time I ended up holding him restrained. I’m not strong enough to just get him in my lap and restrain him that way like my husband can. The only way I can keep him from hurting himself or me is to get him on the floor in front of me, facing away from me, my feet holding his legs apart so he can’t kick me, with my hands holding his arms up so he can’t hit me or pinch me. Unfortunately, he got hold of my hand with his teeth, and held on until he drew blood. I told him he’d not be outside at all that day, which as you can imagine went over just great.
Finally, I had to get dinner, so I just did quick and easy spaghetti, after warning him he better not leave the couch. He insisted he would not eat supper, because I said he had to sit in his dad’s place at the table by me, not next to any of his brothers, because he’d also both threatened them and tried to hurt them earlier in the day. He also informed me that he would not take his bath, because he knew he had an appointment in the morning and also church the same evening. Matt wanted people to think he didn’t get bathed. By then my husband had called on his lunch break, and said he’d watch for an offer of signing out early, they didn’t end up offering it early enough to help me that night. He said to tell Matt if he refused to get his bath, that his dad would wake him when he got home from work and give it to him and that he (Matt) would NOT like it a bit. He finally agreed he might eat a LITTLE (he ate 2 helpings), and he’d have his bath if he could play after. I told him if his bath was quick he might have 15 minutes before it was time for all toys to be put away for the night (8:30 in our house). He wasn’t happy, but I did point out that he COULD have been playing all day, including outside.
He did get his bath, and sat quietly on his bed while Manny got his, because I wouldn’t let him downstairs with just Allen & Ike; I didn’t trust him not to go off on them again. He got his 15 minutes to play, got his night time medications, then the nightly routine of TV time to relax enough for the meds to work, and in bed by 10:00. They are up that late because their dad works late, an hour away, so he and I rarely get to bed before 2:00 a.m., and we really don’t want them up at 5 a.m.