A Support Community for Moms

Category: Musings

Putting Others First

This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to my kids. It was too long to post the entire letter, so I’ve just included the last two paragraphs along with some quotes from Amy Carmichael’s book If.

Philippians 2:3 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

We absolutely do not have the right to walk on others to accomplish God’s will. We do not sin to accomplish God’s will. We do not walk contrary to others just to prove a point. God is not in that type of rebellious behavior. If rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, then isn’t it of Satan for us to make a decision to do something or not do something out of a knee jerk response? That is not spirituality or a better way. It’s just plain rebellion. It is not of God. Satan is manipulating us for his own glory, not God’s and we’re buying it. I’ve had to check my own behavior lately because I want to do things just because it’s different or the opposite of those who have hurt me. That’s wrong. If it’s not God centered – if it’s not for His glory, then why am I doing it? It’s out of self-satisfaction and that’s the wrong reason.

I want to serve God. That’s my desire. But I get in the way. I want to prove to others that God is directing me. That desire is wrong. My goal ought to be to prove to God that I want what He has or that I want to be more like Him. It’s about Him, not me. If my path to God or for God hurts others or disrespects their convictions or turns them cold toward me, then I better look to make sure it’s God’s path and not mine. Most likely I’ll find out it was my path all along. I need to get on and stay on His path – especially for the benefit of others.  It is a great responsibility to lead. If I press my opinion or beliefs to the point of alienating or hurting another, then where is the love of God in my life? My pursuits will have been for nothing. Maybe I can have the satisfaction of believing I was right and they were wrong, but that satisfaction won’t change lives or direct people to Christ. Self satisfaction over our accomplishments or discoveries or even beliefs still begins with self – and that is not for God’s glory. I must realize that what God convicts others of is right and good and I must respect that and figure out how it fits into His will for my life.

God is capable of working it all out without our help. We just need to obey, love, watch and wait.

“If I am inconsiderate about the comfort of others, or their feelings, or even of their little weaknesses; if I am careless about their little hurts and miss opportunities to smooth their way; if I make the sweet running of household wheels more difficult to accomplish, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”

“If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think in terms of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joys mine, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”

“If I want to be known as the doer of something that has proved the right thing, or as the one who suggested that it should be done, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” Amy Carmichael

Though He Slay Me, Yet Will I Trust in Him

In just two short weeks our family will say goodbye to the church family we’ve grown to love. Nine years of our life have been spent here. Most of my children grew up in this church. My first daughter was married here and gave us two grandsons. Eight of my children graduated from this school. My daughter and son-in-law served with us here on staff. All of this we have shared with our church family. 

church photocopyIt is a hard thing to say goodbye to friends who have over the years become more like family. It’s hard to say when that moment actually happens – perhaps somewhere between joy and suffering. It is good to make friends, but it’s even better when they become family. Family to me is a person who has knit their heart to mine.  Family is who you tell your hopes and dreams to or share your burden or hurt with. When suffering is shared, hearts are melded. It’s not in the telling, but the receiving. Your burden must be received and carried. Your load becomes lighter when you’ve shared it with someone who actually cares. I have experience this here. Some people call that person their best friend, but how do you do that when you have more than a dozen? You don’t have to share my blood line to become family. But then, that’s obvious when you look at our family. When we adopted, it was like taking a friend and telling them we wanted to be a part of their future.

So, we are at a close here where we serve. God is calling us away, but we can’t take our friends with us – the friends who have become family. This doesn’t seem right, but our ways are not God’s ways. We cannot know what God will do with the love that must be fragmented and sent on it’s way to develop in the hearts of others through us. It does make the yearning for heaven grow stronger where we will never have to part from those we love, those in our homemade family.

We’ve spent almost a decade here in this church. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve rejoiced and we’ve grieved. Some have loved us, some have cast us aside. Still, we’ve taken immeasurable treasure away with us that could only have been discovered here – to use in another place, at another time, to grow God’s family. I have to admit, God had to pry my fingers off one at a time, for I held on very tightly to this ministry we now call family. But I am not ashamed of that. I think it right to hold on to those whom God brings into our path, those we vow to serve – to hold tightly and not want to let them go. Only then, when my fear of losing them is so very great do I claim them. And, most likely, if you are reading this, you are counted among them – my very precious family.

You have been used by our Lord to change and shape us, to point us to Him and gain a better understanding of who He is. You have comforted us, encouraged and uplifted us. He’s used you to challenge us, to push us to pursue excellence, to become better in His service. Thank you, my church family. I will miss you beyond what I am able to express.

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