I have joined three Yahoo Groups – One for families of FASD children, one for those trying access post-adopt services, and one for those who have disrupted or dissolved their adoptions. The last one I joined to get a proper perspective of those who have willingly or by force been affected by adoption disruption/dissolution. With permission of the writers, I will be featuring some of these stories in days to come. One adoptive mom in particular tugged at my heart strings when she questioned whether she’d made the right decision by not fighting those who were demanding her parental rights be terminated. She would not allow her son to come back home after months in residential – she knew his repeated threats to kill the family would be carried out if allowed back home. So rather than working with the family within reasonable parameters, the powers that be dissolved this family against the wishes of each individual person in that family. Those powers were responsible for bringing to fruition that which they fought against.
Here is my response to her:
“I am very interested in your story and feel it needs to be told as much as a so called ‘successful one’ must be told – maybe more so. We cannot enjoy the blessings of this world if we do not have anything to compare them to. It would also be of benefit for others to see the emotional and physical expenditures of those who hope to save a life through adoption. It should not be seen as serving ourselves, rather it must be seen as a service to our world, whether in service to mankind locally or over seas. I forever regret the pain we have endured at the hands of those who have no understanding of what we do as adoptive parents – yet I do not count it worthy to dwell on it either, simply because I did not do this for praise of man. The approval of my God is all I ought to consider – for it is everything. Though I doubt and wince, I do not fall at the feet of my critics. They will some day answer to my God – the One who called me to serve Him by loving children that were not considered worthy of my attention. Whether you cherished a child for a day or for their life time, you are counted more worthy than those who did neither.”